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“Writing is easy. All you have to do is cross out the wrong words.”
— Mark Twain

“America's Goofiest Patents!”

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Patently LudicrousSM

The Most Remarkable Patent Attorney in the World

His first drafts are also final drafts.

He doesn't always conduct an examiner interview, but when he does, the first words spoken by the examiner are "I'm allowing the case."

He doesn't always draft patent applications for software and business method inventions, but when he does, the claims are not directed to an abstract idea.

Even if the claims could be considered to be directed to an abstract idea, the claims are nonetheless patent-eligible subject matter because the claims recite significantly more.

Patent examiners contact him for prior art.

He doesn't always include a flowchart in his patent applications, but when he does, the flowchart becomes popular on TV ads and social media.

...MORE TO COME SOON, SO PLEASE CHECK BACK.

The Most Remarkable Trademark Attorney in the World

He doesn't always sue for trademark infringement, but when he does, he can show that the average reasonably prudent consumer is confused.

...MORE TO COME SOON, SO PLEASE CHECK BACK.

The Most Remarkable Patent Litigator in the World

He doesn't always represent the defendant in a patent infringement case, but when he does, it is the plantiff who ends up writing the check.

He doesn't always write amicus briefs, but when he does, his amicus briefs are automatically accepted.

His amicus briefs have won the Pulitzer Prize for History twice.

In a high-stakes patent dispute, the fighting advantage goes to his side.

His Markman Briefs are so bulletproof that after a claim construction hearing, he is a marked man.

...MORE TO COME SOON, SO PLEASE CHECK BACK.

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